Saturday, June 23, 2012

Rowing the Boat

Nautical terms keep popping into my head, like "adrift"  "batten down the hatches"  "five fathoms deep" "flotsam and jetsam" and "poopdeck."  Reading Joseph Conrad's LORD JIM has something to do with it.  I was in a row boat, floundering in deep water, during my dreams last night.  I woke up thinking 'Sink or swim!'  Water, water...everywhere.

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Yesterday the physician's assistant told me "This kind of break takes quite a long time to heal...but the good news is, we don't think you'll need surgery...."  [WHEW!]

She said the break is "like a scoop of ice cream (the ball at the top of your upper arm humerus bone, where it meets the shoulder joint) broke off and then got squished back down into the cone (the shaft of the humerus bone)."  

Busted and squished...but not crooked!

So I need to keep the sling on 'full-time' for three more weeks, then get another x-ray, after which - hopefully - I take the sling least "occasionally."   [Arrrgggh! three more weeks of this??  Patience.  Patience.]   They gave me a nice new sling (awesome, because it fits better) and three "passive motion" exercises I can do:
1) take my arm out of the sling a couple times a day, to gently straighten my elbow (already doing it)
2) stretch my fingers and rotate my wrist as much as possible (yep...already there)
3) lift my arm up a bit at a time, out in front of me, with my other hand
"The pain will guide you."  Great.

Also "Absolutely no jogging or similar impact exercise of any kind." She said "That includes taking a brisk walk."  In fact, they don't think I should take walks at all because "you're off-balance without the use of both arms and at risk for another fall."  [Well, crikey.  What do they think I am...clumsy?]  [Chortle.]

Also "No lifting, pulling or pushing anything over one pound for three months."  Hmmm.  How much is one pound?  An average-sized hardcover book weighs almost two pounds.  A full can of soda weighs almost one pound.  Wow - one pound isn't very much.

So my plan is to Graduate Early. 

The "no walks" thing is carrying it too far, in my book.  Wouldn't you agree?  But of course I didn't tell them that.  Basically, I think they're looking at my age, and not at me. 
[FYI:  I promise to be careful, walk slowly, watch where I'm going, and pick up my feet.]

On July 16 (depending on x-rays) they'll refer me (finally!) to Physical Therapy. 

So it looks like our summer agility trial season...and on hold for a while longer.  Like...WEEKS.
Can that possibly be true???  I'm more than ready to be in denial about it. 
(At this moment, as I write this post....I feel BLUE.)

BUT this is all temporary.  I'm actually lucky.  This isn't too bad.  I just have to be patient... 

Riff?  Oh, Riff.  Yes, I know, buddy.  You're such a sweet goober.  We'll figure something out....

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