Conflict and Combat

"Conflict is inevitable. But combat is optional."

Don't know who said it, but it does have the ring of truth.
Whenever my sister and I disagreed about something, I'd go to great lengths to avoid fisticuffs....like climbing, as quickly as possible, to the top of a tree. I skeedaddled up there because she nearly always won, if the disagreement got physical. And I hated it when things got confusing, messy, or painful. I would stay really quiet. I would hide for a while, if need be.

Riff is a bit like I was, as a kid. And Keeper sometimes reminds me of my sister.

We see Riff's pearly-whites once in a while, when we're playing...

..but that's the only time. Keeper's big warning snarlies show up fairly often. Several times a week. Several times a day, sometimes. She doesn't seem to like Riff much. Her attitude towards him reminds me of a Winston Churchill quote: "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

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She was interested in his puppiness for a couple of days when he first showed up, but when it became evident to her that he was staying, she basically turned her back on him. She made it abundantly clear that she didn't want to be bothered, and he has (nearly) always respected her boundaries.

I had imagined owning two dogs that played together all day, and cuddled together when they slept at night - but it hasn't happened.

They do play together, a couple of times each month. It generally ends when Keeper has had enough and turns away, but sometimes she just flat-out attacks him. She turns into a snarling mass of teeth and fur and he becomes yelping-young-dog-trying-to-disappear. I know dogs do these things, working out their hierarchy, but..... No!

Is he challenging her in some undetectable doggy way? Will they figure it all out?

Or is this as seemingly unsolvable as the Sunni / Shiite conflicts? (Crikey!)

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Their relationship is great when we all go on a walk, a hike, or when we're playing at the field.

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But something happens at odd and unexpected moments. Although I've watched closely, I don't know what sets Keeper off. I don't think Riff knows, either.

So:

--Riff has learned to be cautious around Keeps (but still seems happy to see her)

--Keeper continues to post warning signs (and basically ignore Riff)

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Which makes me sad, but there it is. We do the best we can to keep both the fur-kids busy, happy, self-confident, and peaceful.

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Thank god no one has resorted to this:

(Which would, of course, be preposterous.)
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We go on a lot of walks.

We play every day. We have one-on-one time, and "family" time. We've developed some very fun games, during which everyone gets along famously.

It may be that I missed some important piece of doggy information. I've read a boat-load of books, about dog training and dog behavior, and even about the history of dogs. I've watched dogs interact during agility lessons and trials, at random dog parks, dog shows, and at friends' houses. I still can't figure out why my two dogs don't love each other more. I wondered if I was doing something wrong...but a couple of Keeper's "Riff attacks" occured when I wasn't even there. So. Don't know.

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At this point, the best we can do is be even-handed. Be as tolerant as necessary, and always be fair. Give each dog their own space. Work through antagonistic differences. Spend time together. Play together. Try to understand each other. Try to follow the "golden rule"....

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(Why can't they do these things in the Middle East? Sadly. Don't. Know.)

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In general, we have a lovely, harmonious household. Which makes me happy! It isn't the 'my-dogs-are-best-friends' paradise I thought it would be, but we're good. We're doing well.

:-)