Don't worry, I won't go into detail about this - you all have your own battles. Suffice to say there are reasons...understandable reasons....but.
Enough just to recognize it for what it is - acknowledge it - and then take whatever steps are needed to climb back out of that dark place....
Like:
Reading. Love reading!
Recent novels include
The Widower's Tale by Julia Glass (Quite satisfying.)
By Nightfall by Michael Cunningham (Self-indulgent dreck. Skimmed to the end.)
Started Early, Took My Dog by Karen Atkinson (A Jackson Brodie mystery.)
And I've been trying to get through David Brooks' Social Animal (pretty academic), but....
....now I'm thinking about ordering more books from Amazon. Or should I buy a Kindle? Hmmm. The trouble is, you can't give books away to your friends if you have them on a Kindle.
Walking. Damn, I wish it were easier to get moving...but that old tweaky back - and this week's exceptionally strong gravity field - have been giving me a run for the money. The border collies are excellent motivators, though. Nothing quite like getting stared at by a couple of restless BCs.
Difficult to get out the door....but once out - marvelous!
Amazing weather.
AGILITY! What a godsend.
On Thursday I took Riff to LeapDog and reviewed our weave exercises. 4-poles, then 6, then 12. He had only one bobble on the entry, which occured near the end of our 10-minute session, after a quick run. He went over a jump, through a tunnel and onto the teeter into a quick release - then ran right by the weaves (as did I, about 10 feet ahead of him, looking back and cueing "Weave!"). But....oops. His next two tries were perfect, though. Yay! I needed to concentrate more on that first pole, to help his entry.
On Friday we went back for our regular practice session at LeapDog, and Riff was a complete joy. YAY! Well....except for a couple of problems with spinning the wrong way on rear crosses, before heading the right way. Something new to work on...
There's always something.
On Sunday and Monday we went to the Fairgrounds, and Riff ran in the big field. We practiced startline stays and circles and fetch. There was an AKC trial there, so Riff got to run in the field with Charter, which I love to watch. They are so FAST together! Riff and I also spent a while ringside at the trial, in the midst of a lot of noise and nerves and action, to practice paying attention and trying to remain calm. He did fairly well. I felt a like a Pez treat dispenser (he didn't seem interested in tug!). He was better Monday than he was on Sunday. He even laid down for about 30 seconds, and almost relaxed. Of course a lot of people had left the trial by then, so the atmosphere was nowhere near as charged-up as it had been on Sunday. We'll do it again next weekend.
This afternoon we'll be at LeapDog for our weekly group lesson - friends and fun, coming up!
Theatre. Saw a couple of fairly decent shows - A Steady Rain at MTC, and Proof at 6th Street. Last night I went to our weekly Loading Zone meeting, where we spent the first hour of the evening chatting about movies, books and plays, as usual. Then we read the first act of a play aloud. (The Shadow Box.) Even though that is a somewhat dated play about terminally ill people (sigh) we had some good moments, some fine laughs, and a very pleasant time. Must admit it's nice to be back with a small theatre group...whacky as it may be...
Tomorrow's plan includes a birthday dinner for one of my old Actors' Theatre friends. Yay for birthdays!
Etcetera. Yeah. This and that. For me it's about staying-busy-in-the-world. Looking outward, being with people (and dogs!), thinking about things outside of my own stuff. Practicing patience. PATIENCE!
And kindness. KINDNESS! Nothing soothes the soul better. Appreciating the many small beauties of our earth. Practicing a little meditation. Gardening! And, yeah...I even put together yet another jigsaw puzzle. (Yikes! Isn't that some kind of strange old-retired-lady pasttime? Have I turned into an old retired lady?) I'm even thinking about pulling out the old knitting bag. I have a half-finished lap blanket in there....something I started years ago....maybe I should finish it....?!
4 comments:
Hang in there Celeste. Hope Rift and I get to see you at the Pril USDAA trial again.
I have been in the black pit myself. Sounds like you have a variety of tools and are trying to use them. Jigsaw puzzles--funny--I think of them as something that younger people do because they have more time and fewer responsibilities. I haven't done one in over 12 years although I have a huge stack of ones I've never done.
re:puzzles...after I retired from teaching, time started warping...and...I got younger.
:-)
re:April Dixon...am thinking about entering...probably only one or two days. It would be great to watch Rift run again!
Ahh the pit of sadness. I know it well. I've eaten there many a day.
All I can says is we all like ourselves a lot more when we get up and get out.
You've had it tougher than most lately. The bottom line is it sucks but I know you can pull yourself out of the pit each day...just like with exercise, each day that you get up and get going, it gets easier.
Sending joyful thoughts your way.
Post a Comment